Locked Away in my head
Riding the bus to work I hear Frank Sinatra singing “I Believe in you” to me.
I believe in me too.
Just scared.
So scared.
Can’t even move. Just stuck in my seat. Afraid of tomorrow.
That’s very new for me because I’ve always attacked the day.
Wrote songs about how much I loved you but I’m singing to an imaginary “You”.
Dreading work, dreading my hair, spreading negative energy.
I just want smiles, smiles on faces for miles to view.
I still don’t have a clue how to achieve that.
This New Year’s Eve May be the first that I actually write a New Years resolution.
I’ll write something and begin my true evolution into adulthood. I just want the rest of my life to feel good. These past couple of years have beat me down. Yet, I kind of knew this was gonna be my future. I never believed I’ll be rolling in the dough at 29. Even when I’m low I believe I’m moving up, and I beat myself up but I prepped for this. Weirdly I’m down but I know I’m not out. I know I have a plan locked away in my head somewhere. When will I unlocked that door?
....I need to stop complaining.